Misty Eyes

I get my heart broken by two people in two days...
Wow
What are the chances?
The two closest people to me.
Fuckin crazy

Since about 3 years ago
Breaking my heart wasnt so easy to do.
I decided a long time ago that I wasnt gonna be treated like shit by ANYONE.
So I never let people get too close to me.
My whole attitude was "fuck people"
And I'm still like that to an extent.

I broke my own rules somehow and allowed some to come into my life as the closest people to me.

Now here I am...
In the same situation that I once was in
Same feeling
Unbearable
Same perdicament I told myself I would never be in again

Shit sucks

Am I that horrible of a person?
Thats what I've been asking myself lately.
Really...What did I do to deserve it?
Didnt I give you my all?
I really try the best I can...

My heart hurts
Literally
Its like, once I realize I'm totally alone, I panic
I can feel a knot in my throat and I cant speak
Once I know your hesitating, pulling away from me somehow
I can feel myself get weak and for some reason I can't walk
Cant think...and the only time I feel ok is when I'm sleeping

Maybe I make things bigger than they actually are in my mind
Thats only because I care so much I suppose

Over and over again my mind keeps reciting these words;

Im sorry. I tried.