Shit..

So I wake up (at 1:30 pm) and check my facebook. The first thing I see is "I love you..Take care of yourself"
I kind of flinch
Like I do when my brother acts like he's going to punch me
Only I didn't flinch to protect my face
I flinched to protect my heart.

It was like his way of saying goodbye.

I feel like shit.
I've been in bed and it's already gonna be 2, but I don't wanna get up.
I just wanna soak in my deppressness for a day.
Feel sorry for myself for a day.
Reflect on how I made this monster within.
Just for a day.

Then tomorrow I'll start keeping busy because I know if I dwell on it too long, my heart will start to hurt more than it already does.

How easy it was for him to let go it seems, when I can't even start to begin to.
I can't let go.
I can't even think about it because I'll start crying or something.
That wouldn't be good.
My eyes are already puffy from last night.

Does anyone know how to get rid of puffy eyes? Let me know.

Well..
My eyes hurt
My head hurts
My heart hurts
It's the afternoon,
But goodnight.




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